Here it comes again

I'm confused. Or troubled to say the least. This feeling that I thought I'd lost after secondary school had resurfaced within me these few weeks. Though, looking back, that was more of a teenager's crush instead of something real. This time however, when I thought it wasn't possible to find that right somebody for me, I found her.

The girl in question is a fellow classmate at my Japanese Language class. I had no idea when these feelings started, but it did. I experienced none of this during my 3 years in Polytechnic, even with a girl amongst my best group of friends. It's here this time though. She might not be considered a Class A beauty to most, but she's insanely cute in my eyes. Bespectacled, and petite with long hair. Though her looks isn't what attracted me to her, it's more of her personality. She's smart, have an equal amount of interest in Japanese culture than me, cosplays, and generally does basically the same stuff as me, excluding drawing,

This began my official courtship of her. I messaged her, tried to talk more to her in class and after, invite her out, though only once, basically wanting to know more about her. My stupid mind tends to drift off to different stuff though. As much as possible, when we talk through SMS, I try to strike up or continue the conversation. When she doesn't reply for a long while though, I tend to think: "Am I overdoing this? Is she pissed off at me for some reason? Did I drop too big of a notification that I like her? Did the message not get sent through?". WTF brain. She could just be busy, lost Internet connection, or something along those lines. Sometimes I even think that she already has that significant someone and all I'm doing is for naught. I'm a pretty pessimistic person, so I tend to think of these things a lot. And when I do, that impedes my ability to produce anything creative, enjoy what I'm doing, and not feel like doing anything in general. Gah. Fuck my brain.

I do hope this works out though, this is my very first time actively pursuing a girl that I like, and I'm trying to do things in moderation as much as I can. It's about time I started fighting for what I want.