Thoughts and Memories

Just a man and his thoughts

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Classification of Idiots, File I.

Now, many people may view the general idiots as a whole. Without any classification, they wander around lost and scattered like little lambs, just waiting for someone to classify them under some header. And classify them I shall.

Classification of Idiots, File I.

-The Classical Idiot.
Chances are, if you are an idiot, you fall under this catagory. Idiots under this catagory are your everyday idiots. Shouting loudly in public, blasting loud music in buses or MRTs, hurling vulgarities at each other, you name it. The commonly known name for these idiots is Twit.

Here's a twit's friendster profile if anyone is interested. Please note that I'm not responsible for massive ball shrinkage.
http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=39863384
He nicknames himself 'L', as in the L from Death Note. Badly imitated, a huge bush of pubic he calls hair, badly photoshopped images. 'Nuff said. This is your classical idiot. ..........he also looks horribly similar to Chen Wei Lian.


-The Bengdiot
Contrary to popular belief, Bengs/Lians are NOT your everyday idiot. Sure, they are loud, lets their fist do the talking, shouting vulgarities like no tommorow. But they deserve their own section. Bengdiots (or Liandiots), unlike your classical idiot, has NO basic command of the English Language. As such, they recieve plenty of letters from the English Language in their mailbox everyday, but fails to acknowledge it's existance. Here's a short example of a letter.

-----------------
Dear Bengdiot,

Please stop raping me.

Sincerely,
The English Language
----------------

Yeah.


-The Mat
Now I don't know where the hell this word originated from. For those who don't know, a Mat is your everyday Malay teenager guy. They like to pull up their slingbags so high up, that it looks like a woman's purse rather than a slingbag. And also, they are VERY distinguishable from the way they wear their hats. They just rest it on their head. Yes, nothing more. As a result, it looks as if their skulls grew upwards. On a final note, I don't know why they do this, it's not cool, neither is it a chick magnet. Grow up please.


-The Fanatic
I don't like to go too deep into this, but basically, they are just religious nuts who base their very lives and existance on some unseeable, not really known to exist being. And trust me, there are plenty of them out there.



-The God
The Gods are rare species of idiots that doesn't fall specifically into any of the other catagories. Basically, they are shunned by society because their actions are 'not normal' or 'eccentric'. They possess way superior intellect than the other idiots. Their command of English are also on par, if not better than common folks. The Gods aren't also particularly accepted by the different idiot groups. Thus, they bunch together in a small community and laugh at the other groups. And also creating blogs so they could mock them.

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There you have it, File I. Pretty much short. Honourable mentions that didn't make it into this files are The Emos and The Goths, just to name a few. At this rate we're going, by the next generation, 90% of the kids will be deemed New Idiots.



......I seriously doubt humanity's survival for the next 100 years.