Pirates

Alright, I've been performing really badly while playing DJ Max this past 2 hours, and I think I know why, and I have to get this shit off my chest.

Pirates. Seriously, I don't give 2 hoots about people pirating, because I do pirate certain games myself. It's when the assholes openly announce that they're pirating on some official game forum, or gamefaqs, I get pissed. Seriously people, if you want to pirate, by all fucking means, do so. But what the fuck is the point of discussing why your downloaded ISO isn't working on some company's game forum? Not only that, some people even openly asks for links to download said ISO. And also, many of such pirates have extremely poor english, which leads me to believe they are Singaporeans (Singaporean english is very easily recognizable, mind you).

So yeah, fuck you people. Discussing about pirating issues (lets assume the game we're talking about is Monster Hunter Freedom) on Capcom's forums is like snatching a dude's girlfriend under his very nose.

Again, fuck you people. Lets see if you like it when you yourself is the programmer for the game/program.

Fuck you.

Mandatory End of Holiday Post

It's that time again. End of the holidays. As usual, I just had to make a post dedicated to it. It's one week shorter than the last one for some reason. But hey, this holiday has made me realise a lot of stuff. Life-changing ones, in fact.

First of all, I've always been saying, "I want to emigrate to Japan!", "I want to be a mangaka!", but all I did was play video games and have fun, not caring about training my drawing skills. With my current skills, being a mangaka is just a dream. I can barely draw a full bodied character properly. I can draw the face and the hair well, but that's all. I can't draw the body properly, I can't draw any backgrounds. I barely know how to draw different poses, and most importantly, I can barely draw any hands and feet. Knowing that, I still neglected training, and thus, I was always stuck in this hole.

During the 4th week of my holiday, something just struck my head. It was telling me to draw, draw, and draw. The feeling was hard to describe, it was like recovering from amensia, or finding an old toy that you used to love. Because of that, I really started to ponder over what the f- I was doing all this while. I started to draw again, after 4 (probably) months of inactivity. I started to work out character designs for my future manga (31 different active characters are hard to think up mind you, especially when 3/4 of it are guys, which aren't my specialty). I drew actively in the past, mainly because I had Sean Koh as a friendly rival of sorts. He was into drawing, and was hoping to publish his own manga in the future as well. I last came in contact with him almost half a year ago. I lost his email address, and I lost his phone number because my memory card decided to fuck up on me, wiping out nearly half of my contacts, and stuff that I've stored. I still want to keep in contact with him, as fellow mangakas. We might not suceed in this career, sure. But as long as one of us pulls through, we'll be able to help the other with his dreams.

But well, guess what I'm trying to say is... well, I don't know really. Heh, what the fuck.

Secondly, I've also figured and planned out my future route. It's kinda different from what I had in mind last time, but... after I graduate, and finish army, I will be going to Japan, to a university, studying arts and design. I don't have much money at this point, so I've asked my parents to sponsor me for the flight to Japan and my rent for the first month or two. During said 1 or 2 months, I will be looking for a part-time job, in order to support my own expenses over there. As for school fees, I will be paying the first year through the savings I will accumulate during my time working part-time before army, and of course, the pay I get when I'm in the army. After that, it's working and saving up in Japan, meaning I'll have to abandon my hobby of collecting figurines and mangas, but that's a small price to pay. Before that though, I will have to get my ass through poly, and graduate with a Diploma in Info Tech.

Now, I do know that my plans will almost certainly not be as smooth as how I've planned out. I might have cash flow problems, I might not make it into a Japanese university, I might even die in army, literally, but as long as I don't die, I'll be sure to make it past all these barriers that pops up.

One of the most magical and happy moments for a mangaka that is just starting out, is recieving his own manga in the form of a book. Each mangaka will get free copies of his own manga before it officially gets into the bookstores. This is my goal. I can only imagine the joy I will be feeling in my heart when that moment comes, but when it really does, I will experience the magic first-hand.

Now for some misc thoughts:

1) For those that do visit, please please leave a message in the tagboard. Maybe not here, but over at my drawing blog. It really gives me the psychological support I need while threading this path. I appreciate constructive criticisms about my drawings, or my life and plans. If you're out to get me, feel free to do so too. Just don't expect any replies from me till the next millenium.

2) Again, for those that do visit and haven't read my apology post, it's the next post you'll see, since I'm coming to an end for this entry. Please read it, your name might be in it.

3) Ugh, I'll probably be combining both my blogs soon. It will happen when I find the time to do so. I'll be editing the format and theme as well.

Well, that's it. Thank you for reading.

1 and a half years till graduation..

Hollow Time

Two blog posts in one day. Seperate blogs, seperate content. Makes it really hard for me to think up of what to write in this one.

So yeah, I cleaned up the rest of my room with my brother today. It's friggin clean now, and there's a lot more space to move around, luckily. If we buy anymore mangas though, I'd have to get a damn bookshelf. During the clean-up, I came across plenty of stuff from my secondary school days. Nostalgic, yes. Happy, no. It was during secondary school that I'm a major dickwad to all my friends. So naturally, coming across stuff from my secondary school brought back those unhappy memories that I'm trying to bury inside. I chucked out most of them, keeping only my class photos, and a few O Level books my sister might need.

Maybe I'm still a major fuckhead right now, but it sure beats my attitude in secondary school. To save face, I lie. To get out of a major problem I didn't want to handle, I lied. Now that I look back to it, I wasn't acting like a human being at all. During those times, most of my friends abandoned me because they had enough of my attitude. They were right to do so. I found Mel and Jona during sec 3, or rather, they found me instead. I was still a dick at that point of time, and I dragged them down into plenty of shit. I've pissed them off. I did plenty of stuff I weren't meant to do. At one point, I felt that they have totally abandoned my sorry ass. That was one year after we graduated. I went into a state of 'emoness', thinking negatively for just about everything. Some time later, they talked to me again. I snapped out of emoness and carried on with my life. Thinking back, I never did apologise to them for being such a dickhead. Then again, I never did apologise to my other friends as well. Mainly because I didn't want to dig up unhappy memories while doing so.


It may be too late to apologise now, and I don't think most people will ever see this apology, but here goes.

First of all, I'm sorry Ernest, for accusing you of doing something I did during our RO days. It was a real dick move of mine, and I sincerely apologise for it. You and the gang were right to ignore me during then.

I'm sorry Yue Min, for resorting to fists when you didn't return my money. I should have understood you were hard on cash during that time, and I still forced you to do so. My deepest apologies.

I'm sorry Lee Kian, for being such a dick to you during Sec 1. I don't even remember what occured to make me dislike you at that point of time anymore. In any case, it was very immature of me to do so, and I sincerely apologise for it.

I'm sorry Mel and Jona, for being such a douchebag at that time. I think you guys know when. I thought I was alone at that time when you guys were there with me all along. I also don't recall what spurred me to make those posts at my old blog, but still, it came out of my head, and so, I apologise for it. And thank you guys for sticking with me, no matter how much of a dick I am.

I'm sorry to all the people I've pissed off in general. But rest assured, the me now is not the same as the me from secondary school. If you guys would ever forgive me, you'll find out I'm not that douchebag you once knew. I still piss people off occasionally... but that's how I am.

... and that's it.

Part of the reason I didn't want to go back to RO anymore even when Borny and Mel kept asking me to is because once I play, I was reminded of the unhappy past. Thinking about it, these unhappy memories may be what's holding me back from doing greater things. This may also be the empty feelings I've described a few posts back. Typing all these things down makes me feel a little bit better. But I still have this empty feeling inside of me. It may be because I didn't apologise to my friends in person. This little man inside of my head asked me,"Why don't you apologise to them in person then?'. It's simple, I lack the balls to do so. However, when I finally have large enough balls, I will apologise to each and everyone in person.

The gang may not ever see these apologies, but it does make me feel a little bit better inside after typing all this thoughts down. I need to empty my mind for something even more major. Drawing. Remember the 4/2 manga I said I'd draw? Don't worry guys, I haven't forgotten about it. I promise that one day, this particular manga series will hit the bookstores worldwide. I will be successful in doing so. When that day finally comes. Please purchase a copy of it (or the whole manga series) and look back to our past.

When that magical moment comes, maybe you guys can finally forgive me for all that I've done in the past.

Time Hollow

2 days ago, I came across this excellent game on the Nintendo DS titled 'Time Hollow'. It's an adventure game, with elements similar to the Phoenix Wright/Apollo Justice series, minus yelling 'Objection!' of course. Like the title suggest, this game has a lot to do with 'Time'. The game's plot involves a teenager named Ethan Kairos, who inherited a pen called the 'Hollow Pen', which allows him to open up a 'hole' to a certain time and location. The whole game is basically you controlling Ethan running around to fix events which aren't meant to happen. A few examples would be, his parents disappearing, his best friend's sister getting murdered, and another friend getting accused of murder.

The story itself is very interesting. I finished the game in one sitting because I kept wanting to find out what happened next. The game itself is well worth a purchase, or a download, if you're a pirate. Many events of the game WILL confuse the player. Said confusions mostly involves 'Time', again. Like 2 similar entities existing on a particular frame at the same time. The details itself are hard to explain, and can only be understood by playing the game itself.

My own personal thoughts are that time travel is virtually impossible, at least back to the past. If travelling back to the past was indeed possible, then shouldn't we have already seen men from the future? Travelling to the future may prove to be possible, through scientific means of preserving your still living body and mind in a cold statis chamber, and only unlocking it after a few hundred years. Then again, men from the future could be so damn advanced, that they're invisible to our naked eyes right now. Another possibility would be, since we don't see men from the future, it may mean humanity don't have a future. We may all die out due to some freak disease or epidemic 10 years down the road. Yet another possibility is the term known as 'Parellel Worlds'. The meaning of this can be easily googled and found out, so I won't go into much detail. And that's all for time travel.

...

I like to draw. I really do. My 2 aunts used to dissuade me from pursueing a drawing career, and told me to only draw as a pasttime. Screw it. I'm going pro. ....although, I seriously can't find much, if any decent time to practice drawing. My eyesight is getting worse, and that's because I only draw at night, with only the computer monitor, and a desk light as lighting. In my house, or my family, there's never a quiet moment. Every room, save for the bathroom or storeroom, are always occupied. I once tried to draw in my room, with my brother watching anime using the computer, and extremely loud TV noise from my grandparents outside. Whew, bad experience. I ended up chucking my half-assed done drawing along with several completed (and nice) ones out the window. The only times I can draw peacefully, is when the majority of my family is out, leaving only one or two at most at home(not including myself), or when the whole of my family is out. These moments are extremely few and far between, and I usually spend most of those moments watching hentai.

I want to move out. Unfortunately, Nanyang Polytechnic's domitories are only for foreign lecturers, and not for students. No go there. My parents can not afford a seperate flat at this point of time as well, so that's out too. As for my own money... I barely have enough to purchase my drawing supplies, let alone a flat. Sometimes, I do envy my friend Aaron, who has a flat of his own. Well, not technically his flat, but still, it feels damn good to look forward to peace and quiet when you get back from school, especially after a long and tiring day.

Hmm. 'Peace and Quiet'. I'll never get to understand the true meaning of this phrase until I finally move out on my own, which will be a damn long while. It might be true that family are important. But I just had about enough with having to endure volume 19(mind you, that's really loud) of a dumb cantonese show every single day. Even retreating back to my room doesn't help, as it's usually populated by either my brother or my sister. My mum comes in sometimes to sit for a while too, if she has the time.

The end result is that I am practically forced to draw at night. And that's usually at around 2 or 3am in the morning, because of gaming (which I'm trying to severely cut down). My drawing skills might have improved, but my eyesight is getting worse. I gauge my eyesight using an 'Out' sign which I can see from my window. I used to be able to see it perfectly, but the words are getting blurry now. So much for 'Once you're at a certain age, your degree won't go up anymore' huh.

As for the class photo I explained in my previous post, I've scrapped that completely. Again. Instead, I have been drawing Monster Hunter related stuff. Weapons, portraits of my character, etc. I've only completed one drawing of Sylvia (my Monster Hunter Character) wearing full Rathalos Soul Z, and wielding Juggernaut (a hammer), with various other weapons I usually use lying on the ground beneath her feet. I'm quite satisfied with how it turned out actually. All that's left is shading, and I can start on my brother's and all my friends' characters.

Hopefully, by the time I finish everything, I would have accumulated enough post counts to show off my drawings at Hongfire.com. ~_~

Gaming Obsession: Low (getting lower by the day)
Anime Obsession: Medium (new anime)
Hentai Obsession: High (no chance of this going down)
Drawing Obsession: Low - Mid (usually don't have the mood to draw because of points pointed above)

And that's it. Hopefully by the time I make my next post, I can replace my old gaming obsession (which was Very High) with my drawing obsession. Gaming just gets boring now.

Guess I'm getting too old for this crap.